A Truly Dangerous Meditation Trap Very Few Reveal To You

“What if my numb left leg needs to be cut off?”, fear gripped my heart.

It was day 5 of my first Vipassana course — and our first-ever Adhitthan was underway. Called ‘The Sitting of Strong Determination’, Adhitthan meant (at least) an hour of unmoving meditation.

The first 20–25 minutes flew. The next 15–20 were tolerable. But the last 15?

Every minute was an eternity of torture—as jolt after jolt of pain shot up my left buttock and knee.

Inhaling deeply, “Grant me the strength to transcend my pain.” I let out a silent prayer.

Then, something unforgettable happened.

P.S. Adhitthan isn’t self-torture — it’s non-reactance to discomfort. We were told we could move if the pain felt unbearable — but I’d decided to try my best not to.

Electric sensations lit up every inch of my skin like a Christmas tree — and my face broke into an ecstatic grin.

Despite the screaming pain, a strange calm enveloped me.

Every Adhithaan session after that, I bore the pain — craving that ecstatic electricity.

I didn’t (yet) understand what this “electricity” was — but I thirsted for it.

Observing sensations with equanimity went down the drain. Accepting reality “as it is” left the chat. Realizing Anicca (Buddha’s Law Of Impermanence) flew out of the window…

All that remained was pain toleration — anticipating the blissful electricity and its calming aftermath.

Only months later did I realize how dangerous of a trap I’d walked into.

This trap isn’t about Adhitthan or Vipassana alone — but meditation as a whole. Especially, the approach and essence of meditation as it’s portrayed today.

It’s a trap that can hamper and even reverse meditation’s positive effects — in the long run…

A trap that any meditator can fall into — but almost no one talks about.

Disclaimer: I’m not a certified meditation teacher/expert. My knowledge and insights stem from 300+ hours of meditation (across techniques) and self-study. Accept nothing I say as true — until you verify it with direct experience.

The Sheer Danger of This Stealthily Subtle Trap

At the core of Vipassana meditation lies no-woo-woo practicality. To paraphrase the main teacher S.N. Goenka ji…

“Vipassana MUST improve your mental balance and emotional regulation. If there’s no such tangible progress, then you’re doing it wrong — as the technique itself has been proven to work, over thousands of years and lives.”

But despite meditating twice a day (as prescribed), my mental state was regressing!

I attributed the initial inner turmoil to “ego backlash” — triggered by the 10-day course’s deep mental dissection…

But things continued spiraling down over the next few months. I drowned in NoPMO relapses. My writing output fell by 90%. My screen time shot up by 500%.

It got so bad that I planned (and published) a last-ditch “gameplan” to end 2023 strong — but failed with that too.

Not until my 2nd Vipassana course did I realize where I was going wrong:

• During that fateful Adhitthan — (I believe) I had a surface-level Udayabayya Ñāna “breakthrough”. And soon grew addicted to it.
• During my at-home morning sessions — I’d sit in Adhitthan, do Vipassana, bear the pain, and crave Udayabayya breakthroughs. I’d end up getting 1 or 2.
• During my at-home evening sessions — I’d do Ana Pana after a steamy shower — and get drunk on the resulting Samadhi (a state of zero-distraction inner focus).

I was craving the meditative bliss and detesting the pain — while being unaware of both…

The polar opposite of (Vipassana) meditation’s goal! I was strengthening the Akusala-Mūla (aka “3 Great Poisons”)—instead of striving to conquer them!

Deeper yet, I realized the hidden danger of pop meditation guides and techniques today…

Especially in the way they’re taught/sold/portrayed.