3 Ugly Truths Most Self-Help Writers Don't Reveal to You
And 9 tips to get maximum ROI from the self-help books you consume
Being a self-help writer is a blend of delight, anger, and shame.
Delight at improving lives. Rage as the self-help space sweeps reality under a Utopian rug. It's a shame to have added a few stitches to this rug.
Tearing open this deceitful rug, I want to lay bare 3 unsexy truths…
Truths from 3 years of writing + consuming self-help — and interacting with self-help hotshots…
Truths to explain the FOMO and frustration incited by modern self-help…
Truths about how self-help can harm more than help — and 9 potent tips to combat the same.
I won’t defame any self-help writer or book to prove my points. I want to alert you and help maximize your self-help ROI — not incite hate towards writers.
Instead, I’ll illustrate these truths with honest reasoning, visuals, and anecdotes.
Screen them with your own judgment and experience.
Modern Self-Help Is Miles Away From “Self-Help”
Even the most empathetic counselors can’t 100% understand you.
Your perception colors your issue(s) → Your articulation dilutes it → Their perception warps it → Their articulation dilutes it → Your perception distorts it again.
It’s Chinese whispers — on steroids.
As George Bernard Shaw said, “The problem with communication is the illusion that it has occurred.”
Only you can 100% understand and help yourself — others can only guide and inspire.
It’s called “Self-help” and not “External help” for a reason.
Pre-2000 self-help books reflected this.
Psycho-Cybernetics. Power vs. Force. Influence. The Alchemist. Tuesdays With Morrie. Man’s Search For Meaning. As A Man Thinketh. The Four Agreements.
Nuanced and thought-provoking, they strove to help you help yourself. But today’s winner is self-help.
- How to Get Ahead of 99% of People in Just 6 Months
- 5 Morning Habits That Will Make You A Millionaire
- 5 Quotes That Will Transform Your Life Beyond Recognition (If Applied)
Exceptions like The Untethered Soul and Siddhartha exist — but most self-help today is absolutist, surface-level, and preys on your fears & desires.
My past self is guilty of contributing to this cesspool — but I consciously try not to anymore. I don’t guarantee absolutes because I can’t.
In self-help, there is no guarantee. The highest possible guarantee is enabling you to solve your own problems.
The ocean of self-help writers who promise guarantees and hyperbolic results?